


all the motions of ordinary love

by teenagewaste



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anchors, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Milestones, POV Theo Raeken, Post-Canon, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 21:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenagewaste/pseuds/teenagewaste
Summary: Theo was a weak man when it came to Liam; he would have done anything he wanted.or: the milestones that liam needed to realize he loved theo, and like usual, theo was five steps ahead





	all the motions of ordinary love

“You’re different now,” Liam had once said to him, after the final battle in the hospital. They were sitting in Theo’s truck, silence flowing between them as they both thought back and reflected on the night. “You’re still an asshole, and I still can’t stand you, but you’re different.” Theo heard his heartbeat jump slightly when he said he couldn’t stand Theo, but he didn’t say anything about the lie; he didn’t want to ruin the nice sentiment.

But of course, he did, anyway.

“Nice to know that you’ve been keeping tabs on how I’ve changed,” Theo said dryly with a smirk on his face. He was silently begging himself to stop talking, to just shut up and not ruin the compliment, but it was only in his nature to mock kindness and react with cruelty. “What, you’ve been keeping tabs on me; stalking me?” He chuckled a bit, because even though he wanted so badly to bite his tongue, his defense mechanism was to push the kindness away. 

He could hear Liam shift a bit in his seat, could see his fists clench and his face turn slightly red out of the corner of his eyes, and Theo was almost praying that this was going to turn into a fight. Punches, insults—those he could handle. Kind words, no matter how small and insignificant they were, he didn’t know how to handle, didn’t know if he ever would.

Liam was silent for a few heartbeats, until his calmed down and he was able to unclench his fists with a tired sigh. “Why do you have to be such a dick? You can’t just accept that you’re not a complete piece of shit anymore?”

Theo stayed silent, barely even breathing. He used all of his focus and energy on keeping his heart steady so Liam didn’t catch on to just how much it meant to him that someone thought he was better than the way he was before, especially Liam. The words _thank you _were practically on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. So instead, Theo chuckled and shook his head.

“Whatever you say, baby wolf,”

“I wish you would stop calling me that,” Liam huffed, crossing his arms and slumping back in his seat.

“_Baby wolf,_” Theo sung with a smirk. It gave him a strange thrill to rile the beta up; to watch his face turn slightly red, his lower lip jut out in an angry pout.

“I swear you only act like this to piss me off,” Liam muttered. Theo didn’t know if Liam intended for him to hear it or not, but it still made Theo smile a bit. Teasing Liam without getting punched in the face? It was a decent way to spend his time.

* * *

Theo knew that he was Liam’s anchor, Corey and Mason knew, fuck, he was pretty sure that even Scott knew it by this point; the only person who didn’t know was Liam. Theo watched the way Liam reacted when Theo antagonized and taunted him, the way eventually the things Theo was saying finally melted into his thick skull and he calmed down from the realization of it all. Theo saw the way that Liam tentatively accepted his advice, although he would go to extreme limits so Theo didn’t know it—but he always did.

It took Liam months to realize after everyone else. Theo had been standing underneath the bleachers during one of Liam’s lacrosse games, watching silently to make sure that no threats were approaching while half of the pack was distracted by a bunch of kids throwing a ball around (at least, that’s what he told himself). The full moon was approaching, and although Liam had gotten immensely better at controlling himself, he still had more trouble than most. A player from the opposing team was probably unhappy with how good Liam is at the dumb sport and how often he scored, so during the next play he ran directly into Liam, catching him off guard and knocking him right into his back.

Theo didn’t need supernatural senses to see that Liam was mad; he simply stood up, hands slightly trembling, and glared at the ground. Corey ran up to him, clearly trying to calm him down, but Theo could hear the way Liam snarled at the other boy.

“Liam, you need to calm down,” Corey said gently, being very careful not to touch the trembling werewolf. “You’re not going to do anyone any good if you shift and do something you’ll regret.”

“I don’t _care,” _Liam growled out through clenched teeth. When Liam lifted his head and took a step forward, Theo figured it was probably his time to intervene. He walked as calmly as possible on to the field, grabbed Liam by the front of his helmet and dragged him over to the benches, leaving a confused Corey standing dumbly on the grass.

“Do you _really _want to wolf out right here, right now?” He asked lowly, placing one hand on Liam’s shoulder. “They finally started to believe that you weren’t a monster, do you want to prove to them that they were right in the first place?”

“Monster? You’re one to talk,” Liam growled at him. Theo knew that it was the anger talking, because even through the vicious snarling he could hear Liam’s heartbeat skip with the lie—but it still hurt like a punch to the face. 

“Takes one to know one,” Theo said with a smirk, instead. “You really want to tear that kid to bits? In front of all these people?” Liam stayed silent, so Theo assumed that his words were starting to sink in. “I mean, I’m hardly the person to fight you on murder, but if you go batshit on him, you’d probably have to kill the rest of the people here, too. To avoid jail, y’know. And that’s hard work—there’s what, seventy, maybe eighty people here? You’d really have to be sure that they weren’t going to run for it, because one witness gets out and you’re caught and going away for life.”

Theo could feel Liam’s shoulders becoming less and less tense with every word, until he finally looked up at Theo, big blue eyes shining at him in a way that took his breath away. For a second, he looked okay, and then Liam’s eyes widened like he had just seen a ghost. Theo stared back at him, confused, listening to the way Liam’s heart beat erratically in his chest.

“What’s wrong with you?” Theo asked with a slightly sarcastic lift to his voice.

“I-uh,” Liam stuttered, backing up slowly. “Gotta go play lacrosse, I can hear coach calling me!”

“Liam, I have pretty good hearing and he’s definitely not calling you,” Theo snarked with a roll of his eyes.

“Lacrosse!” He called, running back onto the field, where they had stopped the game briefly when Liam almost flew off the handle. Theo stared at his retreating figure for a few moments before going and taking his original place under the bleachers, watching carefully to see if anything else could trigger Liam. 

The rest of the game went on without a hitch, Liam doing the same thing he does every game; carry his whole team until they win at the last second. Theo always watches in amazement at how the whole team could suck so bad, but yet still win every game because of Liam. He guessed that it was the supernatural abilities, but some part of him thought that maybe Liam really was just that good at everything.

After they scored for the last time and the players made their way to the locker room, Theo waited for all of the onlookers to leave before making his way to the parking lot slowly. He stopped suddenly when he saw Liam, hair drenched and dripping water down his face, as if he hadn’t even tried to dry it off after a shower. He stared at Liam, confused, before shaking it off and walking the rest of the way to his truck.

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating your victory?” Theo asked, walking right by Liam and getting into his car. Of course, Liam followed him, hopping in the passenger side and slamming the door shut, because why wouldn’t he?

“Mind giving me a ride home?”

“Well, since you’re already in my truck,” Theo grumbled, starting the car and peeling off, although secretly glad that he was able to spend some time with Liam. He could hear Liam’s heart speed up to the point where it was making Theo anxious—he could only wonder how Liam felt. “Can you just spit out whatever you were going to say? Your heartbeat is giving _me _anxiety.”

“You get anxious?” Liam asked with his head tipped to one side, his tone light and curious rather than accusing or judgmental. He looked so much like a puppy that it made Theo’s heart clench uncomfortably in his chest. These feelings were still unfamiliar to him, still so overwhelming that he had to take a few subtle deep breaths to calm himself down. 

“Yes, Liam, I get anxious,” Theo sighed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel and refusing to risk another glance in Liam’s direction. “What does that have to do with your heart beating a mile a god damned minute?”

“I-I, uh,” Liam stuttered out, the smell of anxiety and doubt filling the truck. “It’s nothing.”

“You absolutely _reek _of anxiety,” Theo said through clenched teeth, and against his better judgment, turned to look at Liam. Bad idea. He was staring at Theo through his eyelashes, slumped in his seat, with a pretty blush on his face that made his eyes look ten times brighter. Theo didn’t understand any of the feelings coursing through his veins, he didn’t really _want_to, but they consumed him. He stared at Liam until he could feel the car swerving off to the side, jumping and finally looking back at the road. They may survive a car crash, but his truck certainly won’t.

“You’re my anchor!” Liam yelled, eyes wide as if he was surprised that he had said it. It seemed like his mind and his mouth finally caught up with each other, because after a few seconds of silence he put his head in his hands and groaned. “Oh _god.”_

Theo had known this—conceptually. But knowing it, and hearing it straight out of Liam’s mouth were two completely different things. He felt like his heart was going to jump out of his esophagus, his whole body feeling tense and relaxed at the same time. His face began to feel a bit hotter than usual, so he held his hand up to his cheeks—he was _blushing._

“Uh, yeah,” Theo coughed. “I knew that much, moron.” 

“You _what?” _

“Did you think I was as dense as you are? This has been a thing for months,”

“Ugh,” Liam fell back against his seat with a whine that Theo couldn’t help but smile at. “It was one thing that Corey knew, but you’re telling me you did too? Who else? Did everyone know except for me?”

There was a pause before Liam gasped, “Does _Scott _know?”

“I can’t say for sure, but probably,” Theo rolled his eyes, finally pulling up in front of Liam’s house. He parked the car and tentatively turned towards the boy who was having a nervous breakdown in his passenger seat. “C’mon is it really that big of a deal?” Theo couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt, and then angry at himself for feeling hurt in the first place.

Fucking emotions. 

“It is when I practically had to be hit over the head with it!” Liam groaned, slamming his head against the seat. “You started taunting me, and the more you antagonized me the more I calmed down, because what you were saying made _sense. _And then I panicked, because when did you start making sense? When did you start making me feel human? Then, I thought back to when I almost killed Gabe, and you sat there and calmly poked holes in my plan and it just…clicked.”

“That I was your anchor?”

“Yes!” Liam sounded desperate, almost angry. “And then I talked to Corey after the game, and I told him about what I was thinking, and he just! He just rolled his eyes at me and told me that it wasn’t anything new—as if my whole entire world hasn’t just been rocked!”

“Rocked?” Theo echoed blankly. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“You would be dramatic too if someone you don’t even like was your anchor!” The second the words were out of Liam’s mouth, Theo tensed, his face falling blank again. Just like every time Liam said something like this, Theo could hear the skip in his heartbeat, as if the stupid beta had forgotten that Theo could hear the lies. Whether it was a lie or not, it stung, and he wanted to hurt Liam the way Liam had just hurt him. 

“Any anchor for you is better than none, you’re on your way to becoming a full-fledged murderer. You’ll follow in my footsteps well,” Theo smirked cruelly. The words burned his tongue—he didn’t mean them, he never thought anything like that about Liam, yet he couldn’t stop himself. Pushing Liam away with insults was better than accepting that the boy could hurt him.

“Fuck you,” Liam spat, his face turning red. “You’re such a fucking asshole, I don’t know why I even bother.” He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him and storming into his house.

Theo watched him go with a sigh. Why the fuck did he ruin everything?

* * *

It seemed that things progressed after the confession, as if once the words were spoken, everything else just moved forward with it. The beta ignored the conversation that they had that night, pretending that the way Theo snapped at him didn’t happen. Liam started asking for rides, started inviting him over to watch movies with the rest of the pack, sometimes just with Liam. The thought that maybe Liam wanted to be his friend made him smile a bit, grateful that he wanted to be around Theo as much as Theo wanted to be around him. 

“Why don’t you just sleep here, you can stay on the couch,” Liam asked after watching a marathon of movies, standing up and stretching his arms up over his head with a small groan. “It’s late, you shouldn’t be driving.” He turned and walked towards a closet on the side of the room, pulling out two throw blankets. Theo watched him traipse around the living room; throwing the blankets on the couch, grabbing a pillow from the loveseat and leaving it in Theo’s lap, putting the remote next to Theo’s leg.

After a few moments, Theo narrowed his eyes at the boy bringing a glass of water into the room. Theo _knew _what this was about, he knew that somehow, Liam must have found out that he lived in his car, and this was his way of offering him a place to stay without explicitly doing it. The sentiment was...unexplainable to Theo. He had no idea what he was feeling, but he knew it was something that made his body warm, that relaxed him yet also made it difficult for him to control his heartbeat. Yet as much as it made him feel good, it twisted something inside of his gut—he couldn’t accept this blatant form of _pity. _Theo wasn’t a charity case, he wasn’t someone that needed to be saved, he could get by on his own just fine.

“How’d you find out?” Theo deadpanned, his mood turning black.

“Find out what?” Despite his nonchalant tone, Theo could see the way Liam’s body tensed minutely.

“Jesus Christ, Liam, don’t play dumb with me,” Theo stood up, stepping closer to Liam. “How did you _find out?” _

Liam sighed, his posture going from slightly defensive to something that was just...sad. He looked down at the ground, hair falling into his eyes as he twisted his hands together. “Stiles told me.” 

“How the hell does Stiles know?” Theo yelled, stepping back and walking towards the edge of the room. He didn’t even want to look at Liam, he didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. But most of all, he didn’t want to feel the guilt for making Liam look so sad.

Where the fuck did his self-preservation skills go?

“His dad,” Liam looked up at him with sad eyes. At a quick glance, Liam looked fine—no hint of misery or anything other than contentment in his body language. It was his eyes, they spoke for themselves, and if you figured out how to read Liam just right, they displayed everything he was feeling. Yet, he couldn’t see a hint of pity in his eyes—he just looked sad, a bit guilty?

“Why do you smell like that?” Theo demanded. “Why do you smell so sad?”

“Because!” Liam snapped, and though he sounded angry, he still had sadness in his eyes. “You shouldn’t be sleeping in your truck. It’s dangerous, and there are hunters everywhere. The pack wouldn’t be nearly as strong if you died—we can’t afford to lose anyone else.”

“So, what do you want me to do about it?” He could hear the way Liam’s heartbeat stuttered, and it confused him because he couldn’t figure out why.

“Well,” Liam said shyly. “We have a guest room, and I know my parents would prefer you stay here than in your car.” 

Theo was a weak man when it came to Liam, and he would’ve done anything he wanted just to get that sad look out of his eyes. He sat back down on the couch, looking up at Liam. “Okay, when do I move in?” He grumbled.

It was worth it, though, when he saw the smile that spread over Liam’s face.

* * *

“Do you regret it?” Theo looked up from his book with a raised eyebrow. He felt like maybe he should understand what Liam was referring to, but his mind was drawing a blank. Liam seemed to sense that, because he rolled his eyes and elaborated. “What you did; Josh, Tracy, Scott…” Liam trailed off, and the unspoken “_me” _hung heavy in the room.

Theo thought about lying, maybe to save the way the beta saw him, but he decided that it would be best if he at least told the truth. He sighed, setting the book down on Liam’s bed and bracing himself for an argument that would probably end with a broken nose or three.

“I’m not sure,” He said after a few moments of hesitation. “Killing wasn’t something I _enjoyed, _Liam. I didn’t kill for fun, it was just…the means to an end, I guess. I feel guilty, I think, sometimes.”

Before Theo could continue, he was interrupted by the pounding of Liam’s heart, the sound too distracting for him to continue.

“You _think?” _Liam spat out bitterly. “What do you mean you _think?”_

“Do you think I have any practice in feeling guilty?” Theo snapped. “In case you weren’t already aware, I went more than half of my god damned life without feeling a fucking thing, so excuse me if I’m not all too sure what to feel guilty about, or how to feel it in the first place.” He heard Liam sigh from where he sat at his desk across the room, the smell of guilt flooding the air.

“I’m sorry, I—” Liam stood up, coming to sit with Theo on the bed. “I snapped a bit, it wasn’t fair. I get it—I mean, I get the idea. I feel too much, so I can’t really understand what it’s like.”

“I think I feel guilty about them sometimes. Other times, I think I did them a favor in the first place, y’know? They would have been dead whether I killed them or not,” He pursed his lips, turning to look at Liam. “Tara, Scott,” He paused again. “…_You? _I know I feel guilty about.”

“So, you do feel guilty?” Liam asked, tilting his head slightly and looking at Theo with those god damned confused puppy-dog eyes.

“Guilt, maybe. Regret? probably not,” Theo shrugged. “I don’t think regret is something that concerns me. It’s a waste of energy to regret things, especially if I’m already feeling guilty about them.”

Liam stared at him, dumbfounded and confused.

“Why regret things if you can’t change them? I’m decently content with where I’m at right now, why regret the things that got me here?” 

“That...doesn’t make any sense”

“To you, maybe” Theo reached over and grabbed his bottle of water on the floor, just to do something that wasn’t talking about feelings. “You’ve never killed anyone, you’ve never had to live with that. You wouldn’t even be able to live with that; you’re too soft.” He chuckled dryly, taking a long drink of water.

“Do you...” Liam whispered. Theo could hear his heart pounding in his chest, and it made him uncomfortable. He didn’t like that Liam was nervous around him, the idea that he was afraid to talk to Theo about something put him on edge, and he wasn’t sure why. “Never mind, it’s not important.” 

Theo let out an exasperated sigh. “Spit it out, Liam.”

“It’s nothing!”

“It’s _obviously _something, little wolf.”

“Okay, okay,” The younger boy sighed. “Do you, uh. Do you regret what you tried to make me do?”

The question made Theo freeze. He hadn’t put much thought into it, preferably because he didn’t like to think that he had ever hurt Liam like that. He sat for a few seconds, thinking about the events and trying to analyze the feelings that came with it. 

“I...” Theo whispered. He had never been this honest with another person, although he assumed that Liam was different than other people. “I think so. I think that might be the only thing I actually regret. Tara, too. But you...” He looked up into Liam’s eyes, his heart hammering away in his chest, yet he did nothing to hide it. He wanted Liam to know that this made him nervous, wanted him to understand how truthful he was being.

“I don’t think I ever really wanted to hurt you, even then. I definitely don’t enjoy the fact that I manipulated you into doing something you never would have forgiven yourself for.”

Liam let out a shaky breath, a small smile on his face. Theo never wished that he could read minds more than he did in that moment. “You didn’t want to hurt me then?”

Shit.

“Shut up, Liam,” He grumbled, picking up his book and pointedly ignoring the other boy. He could feel his face heating up a bit, making him scowl as he tried to focus on the words on the page. He could feel the way Liam was staring at him still, the attention making him uncomfortable.

“I always knew you were going to be a complication,” Theo sighed, setting his book down again. “I’m not sure what it was, but I knew you were different. Even my unfeeling heart knew that I wouldn’t be able to kill you, but I went along with it anyway. I wanted power and I would’ve done whatever it took, so I buried the thought, tried to see you the same way I saw everyone else—a pawn.” 

“That’s...oddly sweet? I think?”

“Yeah, well,” Theo grumbled. “Don’t get used to it.”

* * *

The first time Liam hugged him, Theo had just gotten six bullets fished out of his back and shoulders after diving in front of Liam to save him from a hunter. Theo was sat on a table in the animal clinic, with Liam standing in front of him with a worried glare and scowl while Deaton shoved a pair of pliers into his flesh repeatedly. Theo swears that getting shot didn’t even hurt as much. Liam stared at him the entire time, looking somehow both angry and worried simultaneously. At one point, Liam had roughly tried to grab his arm to take his pain, the touch making Theo yank his arm away like Liam had burned him. Theo stared angrily at the boy next to him, eyes widened in surprise.

How dare he? How dare he try to take the pain of a monster? The audacity of him to assume that Theo didn’t _deserve _this pain. The way that Liam looked at him as if he was something that could be saved, that could be _redeemed_, made his skin crawl, it made him sick. When in his life had he ever deserved to be cared for by anyone, let alone someone as _good_as the boy standing in front of him? Something inside of his chest ached at the idea, somewhere between pain and pleasure; something that Theo just couldn’t put a name on. Liam caring about him made his stomach churn, the crushing weight of how much easier Liam’s life would be if he just didn’t care about a dead boy walking. Another half of him, however, wanted to hold on to the warmness that it made him feel.

Liam’s head dropped so he was scowling at the floor instead of at Theo, and stayed that way until Deaton placed the last bullet on to the tray next to him.

“That should be all of them,” He said, taking the latex gloves off and throwing them away. “You should be healing again soon.” Before Theo could reply—before he even _decided _to reply—Deaton was walking out of the room, leaving the two boys alone. 

Liam still hadn’t looked up at him, and Theo never thought that he would be able to feel uncomfortable, but that was the only thing that he could place to what he was feeling. He swung his leg out and kicked Liam hard in the shin to get his attention.

“What’s your problem?” Theo snapped. “Why do you look so pissed off?” He couldn’t imagine why Liam would be angry at him for what he did, but yet here he is, getting angry and the person who saved his life. 

“You!” Liam shouted, finally looking up from the floor, his eyes shining golden. “You’re my fucking problem!”

“Me?” Theo scoffed, hopping off of the table and stepping close to Liam.

“Yes, you!” Liam sounded on the verge of tears, and something about the desperation of it, the way his voice cracked—had Theo stopping and staring at him curiously. It felt like the ghost of his sister was tugging at his heart (_her heart, _he had to remember that it didn’t belong

to him), not quite ripping it out, just toying with it a bit. It made Theo freeze; he had never felt anything like this, it was almost like a physical reaction to hearing Liam so upset because _of him. _

“Why are you doing this?” Liam shouted at him, stepping close enough to Theo that he could jab him in the chest with his finger. “Why do you keep risking your life to save me? Why do you have some sort of death wish?”

“Maybe if you stopped getting yourself into dangerous situations I wouldn’t have to keep saving you,” Theo scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step back, trying to get some control over the situation.

“God, you’re so _infuriating!” _Liam ran his hands through his hair, beginning to pace; heartbeat so fast that Theo was surprised he was breathing alright. “There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t want me to die! You’re allowed to care about people, Theo, you’re a human being too!”

“Shut _up,” _Theo growled, shoving Liam hard. “You know nothing.”

“I know that you’re scared,” Liam lifted his head up defiantly and stared right into Theo’s eyes. Theo may have been a few inches taller, but he still felt like Liam was towering over him. His emotions were making him feel small, his devotion to Liam stripping away his self-preservation and leaving himself raw to whatever the beta wanted. “I know that you think you don’t deserve to feel, or be close to anyone, but God, Theo, can’t you understand that you’re not who you used to be?”

“What do you want me to say? That I _care _about you?” Theo let out a dry chuckle. “You’re delusional. I just don’t want Scott to come after me because his beta died on my watch.”

Theo felt the punch before he saw it, his head snapping back and his nose cracking loudly. He could feel the blood dripping down his face as he looked at Liam with a hard glare. “What the fuck was that for?” He yelled. 

“Saying you don’t care about me!” Liam’s voice kept breaking, as if at any moment he would lose the battle with his emotions and explode. “I _know _that you care about me and that you want to protect me! I don’t understand why that’s so hard to admit!” Liam’s hands were shaking, his eyes flickering between vibrant blue and shining gold. 

“No one asked you to try and figure out how I was feeling! I don’t know why it even matters to you!” 

“Because I fucking care about you, Theo!” Liam yelled, his emotions finally winning and taking him over. Theo could smell the salt water running down Liam’s cheeks and he stilled, the smell making him nauseous. He barely had time to reply before he felt Liam crash into him, arms around his neck in a tight hug. Theo’s whole body tensed, his hands rested tightly at his sides, but Liam wouldn’t let go. He was silently crying into Theo’s shoulder, claws digging into the older boy’s skin. “I care about you, and I don’t want you to die. Not for me.”

Something inside of Theo broke and he tentatively rested his hands on Liam’s hips, hugging him back loosely, though the tension of his muscles stayed. He opened his mouth and shut it a few times as he tried to think of something to say, but his mind stayed blank. Liam smelled of sadness and desperation, with a small undertone of anger, as he hugged Theo tighter and tighter.

“You don’t have to say anything,” He mumbled into Theo’s shirt. “Just please stop trying to save me like that. I don’t want you to leave, not yet.” _I don’t want you to leave me. _

“I’ll try,” Theo grumbled, his face turning a light shade of pink. Theo hadn’t been hugged since he was a child, since before Tara. He couldn’t remember the last time a touch to his skin wasn’t one of pain, the last time that he had let himself be so vulnerable to another person. Liam’s face was pressed right up against his jugular—if he wanted to, really, he could rip Theo’s throat out at any moment. Yet Theo knew he wouldn’t do that; he knew that Liam would never hurt him. 

The crushing severity of that though chilled him to the core. Theo Raeken was a lot of things, but there wasn’t much you could do to scare him. But this all-consuming feeling of _trust _made him feel a kind of fear that he had never known before.

Trust got you nowhere in life, it just made you weak and vulnerable to the people who would come in and take advantage of that—people like Theo. He knew firsthand what it was like to lie, to be lied to, and the realization that he trusted Liam enough to believe that he wouldn’t lie was something his brain couldn’t comprehend. Trust made you a fool; only complete morons were dumb enough to believe that someone was all good.

Theo was the biggest fool of all.

* * *

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Theo froze, his entire body tensing as he turned to glance at Liam. The beta was sitting completely relaxed on the couch next to him, a small smile on his face. Theo couldn’t get his thoughts to focus, the words sending his brain into overdrive. Was Liam _dumb? _Didn’t he realize that being in love with Theo was cancerous, that loving Theo was like poison? He ruined everything he touched, his nature and creation was built entirely on chaos and destruction.

“Are you an idiot?” He hissed, jumping off of the couch. Liam looked stunned, as if this was the last way he would have expected Theo to react.

“Dude, if you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. I didn’t really expect you to, anyway. But you don’t have to be such a dick about it,” Liam snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, the scent of anger and humiliation coming off of him strong enough to make Theo nauseous.

“You’re an absolute moron! I killed your alpha, tore apart your whole pack; fuck, Liam, I was going to _kill you!_”

“But you didn’t want to,” Liam said defiantly, voice much calmer than Theo expected. “You didn’t want to hurt me, you said it yourself. And you feel guilty! You’ve changed, Theo. I can see that, Mason and Corey can see it, fuck, I think even _Scott _can see it. You’re the only one that hasn’t forgiven yourself.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Theo ran his hands through his hair. This conversation was bringing on so much stress he felt like tearing it all out. Yet, as much as he wanted to argue Liam on it, his heart was beating wildly in his chest, his whole body singing. 

_He loves me too._

“Nothing is wrong with me!” Liam got up and stormed over to Theo, pushing him lightly. The touch was so gentle that it made Theo’s heart warm. “You’re so much better now; you’re good and you deserve to be happy just like everyone else. You deserve to have someone who loves and it’s _fine _if you don’t feel the same way but…you deserved to know.” Liam’s voice drifted from angry and determined to soft and shy in seconds.

“No one said I didn’t feel the same way! Stop putting words in my mouth,”

“So, you do like me?” 

“God, are you that dense?” Theo still spoke with anger, emotions and pure love running rampant through his veins. “Of course, I love you, you fucking imbecile. It’s insulting that you would assume I didn’t; I haven’t exactly been subtle about it.”

“So, you don’t want to be with me?” Liam gave him that fucking confused puppy look, the one that made him melt.

“I never said that,” Theo sighed. “I’m a selfish creature by nature, and if you want me, well. I’m going to take that and hold on to it as long as I can.” Liam didn’t bother arguing with him, although Theo could tell that he wanted to. Instead, he got as close to the older boy as possible, putting both of his hands on Theo’s cheeks and pulling him, kissing him deeply.

Theo was a fool, and he still didn’t quite understand how to feel, but if loving Liam made him a fool, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

**Author's Note:**

> i have literally always wanted to write thiam, but theo is such a uniquely written character that i wasn't sure i'd be able to get his voice right. i just want to do my boy justice, so let me know if this is ooc or if he doesn't sound quite right, bc i want to write more and get it right :)
> 
> like every fic i write, the title was jacked from woman (in mirror) by la dispute


End file.
